My Sisters death

Hello readers,

    It's that time of year. Where I think about my sister. Let's just say more about my sister. I think of my sister all the time just around her birthday it's more. The last time I saw my sister I was in a hurry. I traveled to see my mom and dad and just left moment in time to see my sister. We talked for five minutes then I left. Why did I spend so little time with my sister? It was because her world got ruled by drugs. I remember two versions of my sister. One was the sister I grew up with, the sister attended my wounds – me up when I fell. The other sister was the one who drugs affected mentally, who had their brain wracked by drugs. I like this and think about the sister I grew up with all my childhood. I have dreams what she'll be like now if she had not got involved in drugs and had not died. She would have that been there through my stroke holding my hand tell me everything would be all right. She she was given me excellent advice as far as my relationships. I hate drugs. Now I know everybody says I hate drugs. Only those affected by family member that is a drug user knows how much is to eat drugs! If only my sister have remained in counseling for her lifetime. If only she had avoided bad boyfriend who supplied her with drug. Though boyfriend supplied her with drugs makes me most upset of all. How could you supply someone drugs you not only your life but your the other person's life? If you want to screw up your own life go ahead but to a person who is trying to stay away from drugs and then supplying drugs and saying it's no big deal. That is wrong! To my readers, how many of your relatives son's daughters have gotten by drugs? The loss of life is horrifying!

Good morning to all my readers,

    It has been a while since I've posted. I am sorry it's taken this long to write. I have been going through some depression. I have a felt like posting up to this point.

  So yesterday I went for T.E.E.

What is that?

Transesophageal Echocardiography (TEE)

What they do is stick to down your throat to look in your heart. The days leading up to my appointment I was not excited. Who could be excited? Yea I'm going to have tube stuck down my throat woo hoo. The prep work is disgusting. They have few first gargle gel. Gurgling gel is not fun especially because it tastes like I don't know but it's bad! Then they spray additional Spray and the back of your mouth. So I did all that and I got bumped from my appointment. So I have the gargle the gel again. It wasn't the fault of my wonderful nurses. My wonderful nurses kept me entertained. One of the nurses seem really interested in my blog I hope she finds it. The procedure went well they were able to tell me right away that I have a hole in my heart. It will have to get fixed this summer.

Andy's Big Thoughts

Pokemon I choose you!

Dear readers,

Pokemon got to catch them all? I would just like to win one gym battle. Yes I am a 40 year-old man Pokemon hunting. I admit it it is addicting. Its just another form of obsession. When i was a kid it was collecting all the Batman trading cards. Will I last with pokemon hunting? I don't know i like it so far. I am going to start MineCraft. My son plays it and I find it very interesting. Life has it's interesting turns and twists.

Things I have been less into i have to say is Twitter. Still use it but not huge for me. I ramble not sure who out there is reading this. My life could it be interesting to strangers? Like Big Brother or Survivor? Maybe the whole world would like to know how many times I pooped today.
I would tell you but i forgot to count.

Till next time... Keep it realish!

Your eyes burn into my soul.........

In the beginning....

    "Stop looking at the ground" and” Look people in the eye when you talk to them” words I grew up with every day.   My parents had good intentions wanted me to do well in the world. Also back then people had no understanding of psychological issues related to autism.  Myself I don’t like set labels let’s say I really understand autism. So many aspects to talk about as far as this blog post I look at eye contact. I have worked hard since adulthood to work through this issue of eye contact. Just a note not all countries is eye contact the polite thing to do. It is a western world thing. For family and very close friends it is much easier. With new people, strangers it can be difficult. When I started trying to fix this I did everything I could to avoid eye contact. It is so very uneasy. It makes this difficult. I remember job interviews I would force myself to look them in the eye. I would get so much anxiety that I would forget answers to questions I knew. I would some time get red faced from the tension in my head to do this and I would be asked if it was too warm in the office where I was interviewing. I have learned tricks to help like look at them but unfocused my eyes so I don’t see their eyes as well. I wish people knew how perfectly I hear them without looking them in the eyes. How much I care without constant eye contact. The most awkward part for me now is that when I don’t make eye contact with someone new I know what the other person is thinking. I know what they are wondering about me or our conversation. That is all for now. 

Dealing with the Light of your Candle.

Hello Readers,


   I know there are people that read my blog from all aound the world. I this morning have had my

sister on my mind. She died this year she was in her 40's. I remember getting the phone call. What a

 phone call to get really your father telling you your sister is dead. It has been many months and i am

still processing her loss. Life is so much like a candle. you dont know how tall it is so you dont know

 how long it will burn. You don't know if a gust of wind will blow it out. That light that we give to

the world can just disappear. Then the people around you live a little darker with out your light. So

take today and look at the lights around you.

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